Blackened Magnolias

The Kingfish, Huey P. Long, Edwin Edwards, and Bobby Jindal. What do these three men have in common? They were(and is in Jindal's case) governors of the great state of Louisiana. Now, you might be asking what's wrong with that? Well, nothing is wrong with that if you look at this from the wrong point of view. Huey P. Long helped Louisiana through one of the darkest times in American History, as the Great Depression strangled many of the nation's population into poverty, homelessness, and in some cases suicide. Edwards did some good, too. He pushed for a new constitution in Louisiana which was 50 years old and he was the first since Reconstruction to appoint blacks and women to high positions in his administration. Jindal.... well, Jindal hasn't done shit.

Corruption and horrible policy is the problem with these three men and almost every other senator, house rep(US or state level), or anybody who works for this state. Not to mention, most people up north don't exactly want to help us out with anything due to the corrupt bitches in power or the fact that they think we should all move... (in snotty Michiganite accent) "All those alligator people down there should move somewhere safer." However, I digress.

Louisiana is the state known for electing KKK members to office, now sure to some people it's not a problem... my fucking ass... The Klan doesn't only hate people of the tainted blood, mind you. The Klan backs WASPs and that's it. You're from Italy? Fuck you. You're Catholic? Fuck you. You're 1/800th Asian? Fuck you, chink(hope that didn't offend anyone, trying to get a point across).

We have had a governor(probably more than one) who had direct connections with the mob and one who was in stiff contest with the President of the United States. Federal funding was given to build a stadium in Baton Rouge in 1924, and money for rebuilding the levees, yeah those things that hold back water, went to expanding the SuperDome.

In a nut shell our politics are telling us, sports are more important than your life, but before you die how about you give us some money by going to an LSU or Saints game.

Don't get me wrong, I love football as much as the next guy and I'm a LSU student so I'll be in that "New Deal money" stadium more often than not. Yet, that doesn't make it right to use money to help people in whatever way to build a god damn stadium.

This brings me to my most recent knock against the Louisiana governor. Bobby Jindal, so set in the ways of the two-party system, denied the money that President Obama was sending to combat the recession.

Bringing us back to the subject of LSU, there is a pipe running under the campus which is the main sewage for the school. It is close to rupturing, a rupture could mean the collapse of an entire street and the closure of the school for an indefinite time due to evacuations.

Let me paint a picture for you. Florida against LSU in Tiger Stadium, 4th quarter comeback by the Tigers, authorities rush into the stadium ushering everyone out because Nicholson Dr. has collapsed and there is noxious gases escaping into the air that'll kill all of them.

The state was asked to put up $4 million dollars to fix the pipe... Too bad, we're too broke.

Thanks, Jindal.

Why We are Still Crusading Today

Ever since the birth of organized civilization, the people in those civilizations have been worshiping some kind of god, gods, goddess, spirits, or any combination of those. What some people seem to forget is that there was very few or no monotheistic religions and until the arrival of Judaism there wasn't a stable one. Yes, die-hard Christian fans the Jews were first.

Let's recall the Holy Wars, fought in the Middle Ages. The wars that European Christians waged on Muslims to reclaim the "holy land." That is where all of this hoopla started. However, I'm getting ahead of myself. The Christians viewed the Muslims as savages but I'd have to say that it was quite the opposite. The Muslims didn't go to Europe to fight, the Europeans came to them. The Muslims weren't the ones with horribly planned cities rife with crime, disease, and death.

The Jews were caught right in the fucking middle of these wars, but they had been being prosecuted for their entire existence so I'm sure they were used to it by now or they were not anywhere ready for the worst... once again I'm ahead of myself.

This started a whirlwind within Christianity as they split between Catholicism and Protestantism something even more ridiculous than the utter control that the Pope has over Catholics as it is.

I realize that I sound like a Muslim, but you are wrong my friend, I once considered myself a Christian, Baptist to be exact but I no longer align myself with any religion. So, I'm seeing this with as unbiased eyes as I can have.

In recent years, the United States, a country which supposedly does not have a national religon(fucking lie), has painted Muslims as the enemy. Does this not draw striking comparisons to what was done during the Middle Ages? Now, we have a Musl... oh, wait Obama isn't a Muslim... Correction, we have a President who has ties to Islam through his father and I'm sure many of his confidants. Yet, we have the Good Ol' Boy System in the Good Ol' U.S.A. If the white guys in the Senate who hate everything "Un-American" want to go to war with the entire world then you better damn believe it that the entire world better be ready for the "mighty" American war machine backed by it's huge national deficit and strained numbers!

So, the Muslims did something to Christians and now we are fighting where?! Where are we fighting?! For what?! Weapons of Mass Destruction?! My fucking ass.

We are in the "Holy Land" fighting for oil and because if the bitches ain't "democratic"(as in democracy folks) white christians then fuck them all.

All religions have something in common. They are all oppressive and like to dictate what their followers think to when they take a piss in the morning. Until people learn that just because someone does not believe in what you do does not mean you need to go bitch at them for being different.

Until that time, let the "great Crusades" continue...

Dogs, Mexicans, and the Legal System

You know there is a serious problem in this country and many people would jump immediately to the growing financial deficit that became a part of American culture in.. the 1700's but that is a conversation for another day. Today, I want to give you some insight into another problem that is gripping this country. If I asked you who got away with the most criminal acts, there would be an unanimous response of the rich and the famous. Of course, this holds true in most cases such as Lindsey Lohan or Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston(CRACK BABY!). So, I guess I want to talk about that 1% of the rich and the famous.

Let's take three recently convicted football stars, for example: Michael Vick, Donte' Stallworth, and Plaxico Burress.

What do all three of them have in common? All of them are black males, all of them are football players, and they are all rich as fuck. We can agree on those three things correct? Throw in some subtleties such as Burress having a Super Bowl ring, Vick being one of the most athletic players in recent history and Stallworth.. well, Stallworth will have to work on that..

Each of them on an individual basis are all in the media for their various laws which they have broken, and that, my dear reader, will lead you to what I am talking about. Let's start with Donte' Stallworth.

One faithful night, Stallworth was driving drunk and killed a man. Vehicular manslaughter, of course wreckless operation and the plethora of other charges need be tacked on. Now, in most cases this carries a hefty sentence in jail. I was expected little Donte' to be locked up for at least(emphasis on the at least) 15 years. However, he got nothing more than a slap on the wrist, 20 some-odd days in jail and probation. Captain Rich and Famous strikes again right?

Let's compare Stallworth to the other of the three who inflicted bodily harm on a human, Plaxico Burress, Plax, the Super Bowl hero who embarrassed Ellis Hobbs to spoil the Patriot's perfect season. Burress was charged with the despicable crime of shooting himself with an unlicensed gun. I'm assuming if the gun had been licensed that he would have been charged with Public Stupidity. After a long process, Plax plead guilty to the charge and is now facing at least 2 years in jail for being a dumbass. Way to go New York laws!

Now, the most fiendish, the most horrible, the most dasterdly, the most inhumane of the three.. Michael Vick. As a forewarning, I am in no way condoning what Vick did. I am instead laughing at the fact that Vick was proverbially suplexed in the terms of his sentence. What did Vick do? We all know what he did... he fought dogs... WRONG! He funded a dog fighting ring, he supposedly killed the dogs himself. I find that hard to believe. What owner of a business does anything themselves? Ask yourself that question first.

Vick was sentenced by the federal government under the RICO Act to 23 months in prison, along with a bunch of other shit Virginia tacked on that I can't be assed to look up. Just know that if he gets a speeding ticket, he'll probably be going back to jail for a good while.

I present this question to you. Is funding a dog fighting ring worse than running a man over? Is shooting yourself worse than running a man over? I honestly think it was because the man that Stallworth hit was of Hispanic descent so no one cared.

So in this country, we are telling the world. We hold dogs above anyone from a Spanish-speaking nation(or people who accidentally shoot themselves or failed "self-murderers").